Same Sex Attraction – An Abomination?
This page is not written to antagonise but to support people who have same sex attraction.
We believe that there are cases where genetic predispositions contribute to being same sex attracted. We also believe that there are others who are extremely happy with their same sex attraction and their current sexual orientation. No offense is intended to those families.
This page might be enlightening for Christians who wonder about their own tendencies toward same sex attraction and for others who might have judgemental tendencies toward those who are same sex attracted. Some Christians might find that a tendency to judge others for their sexual orientation, their outward appearance and behaviour, is not doing as Jesus did, which was refrain from judging and to try to support and value the entire person.
Many fundamental Christians tend to believe that same sex attraction is an abomination to God. They quote Bible verses to support their beliefs. For example:
Romans 1:26, 27
“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”
This page is not written to antagonise but to support people who have same sex attraction.
We believe that there are cases where genetic predispositions contribute to being same sex attracted. We also believe that there are others who are extremely happy with their same sex attraction and their current sexual orientation. No offense is intended to those families.
This page might be enlightening for Christians who wonder about their own tendencies toward same sex attraction and for others who might have judgemental tendencies toward those who are same sex attracted. Some Christians might find that a tendency to judge others for their sexual orientation, their outward appearance and behaviour, is not doing as Jesus did, which was refrain from judging and to try to support and value the entire person.
Many fundamental Christians tend to believe that same sex attraction is an abomination to God. They quote Bible verses to support their beliefs. For example:
Romans 1:26, 27
“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”
Same Sex Attraction
Many fundamental Christians tend to believe that same sex attraction is an abomination to God.
They offer to quote Bible verses in an attempt to support the belief that God hates same sex attraction, but in reality, God hates the fact that some people choose to sexually abuse others regardless of their sexual orientation. It is the 'hurting other people' that counts the most to the Creator.
Other verses also condemn abominable behaviour such as these texts:
Leviticus 18:22; 20:13;
1 Tim 1:10;
1 Cor 6:9;
Heb 13:4 and
Rev 21:8; 22:15.
The question is, what is the actual abomination to God?
It also appears that fundamental Christians consider the act of homosexual activity to be the the abomination condemned by God. In contrast, we believe the Bible reveals the real abomination. While the sexual interaction between same sex couples is not able to reflect the ideal plan God has designed for human beings, it is the act of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation - sexual selfishness devoid of empathy - that destroys the victims - that is the real abomination.
Traditional Views
It appears that Christians have traditionally believed that heterosexual sins are less evil than same sex sins and that compared to homosexual sins, the degree of heterosexual sins somehow pales into insignificance. Is this a theologically valid conclusion in reference to sexual sin?
Consider:
The Main Concept
Christianity is based on the fundamental principle that God is Love. God doesn’t condemns behaviour that hurts humans.
Theological evidence:
They offer to quote Bible verses in an attempt to support the belief that God hates same sex attraction, but in reality, God hates the fact that some people choose to sexually abuse others regardless of their sexual orientation. It is the 'hurting other people' that counts the most to the Creator.
Other verses also condemn abominable behaviour such as these texts:
Leviticus 18:22; 20:13;
1 Tim 1:10;
1 Cor 6:9;
Heb 13:4 and
Rev 21:8; 22:15.
The question is, what is the actual abomination to God?
It also appears that fundamental Christians consider the act of homosexual activity to be the the abomination condemned by God. In contrast, we believe the Bible reveals the real abomination. While the sexual interaction between same sex couples is not able to reflect the ideal plan God has designed for human beings, it is the act of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation - sexual selfishness devoid of empathy - that destroys the victims - that is the real abomination.
Traditional Views
It appears that Christians have traditionally believed that heterosexual sins are less evil than same sex sins and that compared to homosexual sins, the degree of heterosexual sins somehow pales into insignificance. Is this a theologically valid conclusion in reference to sexual sin?
Consider:
- If a man lusts after a woman, is it more comfortable to believe that it’s not as abominable as if he lusts after a man?
- Or if a woman seeks to be lusted after by a man, is it less abominable than if she lusts after a woman?
The Main Concept
Christianity is based on the fundamental principle that God is Love. God doesn’t condemns behaviour that hurts humans.
Theological evidence:
- God is Love (1 John 4:8, 16).
- Love offers freedom of choice (Gal 5:1,13; Deut 30:19; Joshua 24:15; Prov 3:6);
- God is the source of all life (which is Love);
- Love is demonstrated by unselfish actions to the Creator and to other human beings (Matt 22:38,39);
- Love is treating others in the way you would like them to treat you (Matt 7:12);
- The law of God is Love, the government of heaven is Love, the character of God is Love (Matt 22:37-40; 1 John 4: 1-21).
- Love is kind, never self-serving (1 Cor 13:4-7);
- Love gives to others for the welfare of others, despite it costing the giver (Rom 5:8).
- Selfishness (sin) breaks the law of Love (1 John 3:4).
- Selfishness (sin) takes from others and inflicts loss on others, for the purpose of benefiting the taker (sinner) but it profits the taker nothing as it is devoid of Love (1 Cor 13:1-3).
- Sin (selfishness) is the transgression of the law of Love (Matt 22:37-40; 1 John 4: 21).
- Fear is the absence of Love, but Love dispels fear (1 John 4:18);
- Any and every selfish behaviour is sinful because it is unloving to God, to others and to oneself;
- If a person decides to act selfishly, he/she also decides to sever their allegiance to the Creator, the Life-Giver, the Source of Love. This decision has LEGAL consequences in the controversy between the Son of God and the enemy of God. Both God and Satan are contesting the 'right' to win allegiance for the minds of human beings. By making the decision to sever their relationship with the Creator, the sinner leaves themselves open to demonic attack from the enemy of Love;
- Every selfish behaviour earns the 'wages' of death (Romans 6:23) because the person LEGALLY withdraws their allegiance from the care and protection of God - The Source of Love and Life - leaving themselves vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy of Love;
- 'Earning the wages of sin,' refers to the natural consequences of selfish behaviour. The God of Love does not punish humans for exercising their freedom of choice. Love does not inflict artificial nasty/lethal consequences or punishments when His ways are not chosen. The Creator with great grief, acknowledges the free choice of the sinner who has rejected His Love and the human is then 'handed over' to the demonic leader he has chosen to serve;
- The devil has no mercy to the sinner and as soon as the sinner is 'free' from divine protection, Satan manipulates and abuses the sinner for demonic gain;
- God's grief is mistakenly translated in the Bible as His 'wrath.' The God of Love is extremely grieved when He must withdraw His protection from the human being whom He deeply loves, but God does not punish the sinner;
- The ultimate result of rejecting Life/Love is homicide and suicide. It is in this way that the wages of sin is death. Without a connection to the Source of All Life, there is no life in the future. Death is the absence of Life. "All they that hate me, love death" (Prov 8:36).
Origins
It is not possible to be certain why some people (and some animals) adopt or develop homosexual (same sex) attractions, but some conclusions, within a Biblical reference, are presented for consideration.
The loving bond between parents and children is vital for the child's health.
The Creator's Master Plan in Eden
Genesis 1:27; 5:2; 9:1,7; 17:20; 28:3; 35:11; 48:4
Humanity was originally created by the God of Love to represent His character by the joining of a male and female into the special emotionally and physically bonded relationship of marriage. The exclusive couple were instructed to "Be fruitful and multiply and fill/replenish the earth" and the same instruction was also given to Noah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Bearing children was seen as being the greatest blessing - the blessing of Life - from God.
Genesis 1:22, 28; 6:19; 7:2; 8:17
The Creator originally created animals in two separate genders - male and female - for reproductive purposes - "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth."
Genesis 1:27; 5:2; 9:1,7; 17:20; 28:3; 35:11; 48:4
Humanity was originally created by the God of Love to represent His character by the joining of a male and female into the special emotionally and physically bonded relationship of marriage. The exclusive couple were instructed to "Be fruitful and multiply and fill/replenish the earth" and the same instruction was also given to Noah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Bearing children was seen as being the greatest blessing - the blessing of Life - from God.
Genesis 1:22, 28; 6:19; 7:2; 8:17
The Creator originally created animals in two separate genders - male and female - for reproductive purposes - "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth."
Children
Children are a blessing from God:
When a man and woman unite to create a child, it was and still is God's loving plan that the child would be cherished, valued, loved and appreciated by both parents from the very moment that the woman realised she was pregnant. The parents were entrusted to act as a spring of Love, channeling the Father's love to their child. Parents would demonstrate to the child unconditional love. The child would be completely aware that they were loved, valued and cherished and that they could depend on their parents for love, nurture, safety and protection. This home environment would produce emotionally secure, mentally stable children who were adequately prepared to leave their homes as adults and to form strong emotional bonds with a partner. The couple would be equipped to create a new stable family. They could raise children who would love God and their fellow human beings. They could without fear, make healthy relationships with others and participate as respected citizens in society.
- Life is sacred because it comes from the Source of All Life - the Creator;
- The Creator notes when the new life begins inside the mother's womb and He covers the tiny baby in that location (Psa 139:13);
- Parents are normally happy to have children (Psa 127:5);
- Parents were to teach their children to Love (Deut 6:4);
- Parents who failed to teach their children how to Love where shamed (Prov 19:26; 28:7; 29:15)
When a man and woman unite to create a child, it was and still is God's loving plan that the child would be cherished, valued, loved and appreciated by both parents from the very moment that the woman realised she was pregnant. The parents were entrusted to act as a spring of Love, channeling the Father's love to their child. Parents would demonstrate to the child unconditional love. The child would be completely aware that they were loved, valued and cherished and that they could depend on their parents for love, nurture, safety and protection. This home environment would produce emotionally secure, mentally stable children who were adequately prepared to leave their homes as adults and to form strong emotional bonds with a partner. The couple would be equipped to create a new stable family. They could raise children who would love God and their fellow human beings. They could without fear, make healthy relationships with others and participate as respected citizens in society.
That Was Then, This is Now
Children are very often the 'odd' one out if they are raised in a family with emotionally connected, mentally stable parents. According to the statistics, a child is 'fortunate' if he/she escapes being abused in some way in the home or school environment. There are 'Adverse Childhood Events' (ACEs) that include abusive behaviours inflicted on children such as :
Even if parents do provide for the physical needs of the child, they might not realise the long term consequences of failing to express how much they value their child. A child who is unloved and feels un-valued lives in fear that they are 'not good enough' which translates to shame and feeling defective. The emotional injury can be so severe that brain scans detect the abnormal changes. Fear of not being good enough can lead to:
As stated at the beginning of this article, there absolutely might be cases where genetics contribute to being same sex attracted. There absolutely might be others who are extremely happy with their same sex sexual orientation, but there might be others who are practicising same sex attraction or heterosexual adultery/affairs that might be unaware of the anchoring that has influenced their sexual orientation.
Scientific research has been undertaken to study sexual anchoring on animals.
Rats:
One study involved rats. The male rats were introduced to sexually receptive females that wore special jackets. Female rats that were not sexually receptive at that time of their cycle, were not given jackets to wear. It was noted that very quickly, when given a choice the conditioned male rats preferred to mate only with female rats that wore the jacket, whether the jacketless females were receptive or not. (Behav Neurosci, 2019, April; 133(2):188-197. doi: 10.1037/bne0000300. Epub 2019 Feb 4. Conditioned partner preference in male and female rats for a somatosensory cue, Gonzalo R Quintana 1 , Steve Desbiens 1 , Sarah Marceau 1 , Narges Kalantari 1 , James Bowden 1 , James G Pfaus 1)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30714804/
Horses:
It is a well known practice at horse stud farms for the stallions to be trained to 'mount' a 44 gallon drum as if he is mating with a mare. The stallion is trained to ejaculate into a tube (artificial mare's vagina) so that his semen can be used to impregnate mares without any of the physical risks to the stallion or to the mares. Stallions are conditioned to become sexually aroused when they see the 44 gallon drum.
An intriguing question is raised - Can humans become sexually conditioned perhaps by viewing porn and other sexual activities? It might be interesting for people to further explore their own sexual arousal system and even to research their childhood to explore the events surrounding their earliest sexual experiences.
Possible Factors Contributing to Sexual Anchoring
- emotionally neglected;
- emotionally abused;
- verbally abused;
- physically abused;
- physically neglected;
- physically abandoned;
- sexually groomed;
- sexually molested.
Even if parents do provide for the physical needs of the child, they might not realise the long term consequences of failing to express how much they value their child. A child who is unloved and feels un-valued lives in fear that they are 'not good enough' which translates to shame and feeling defective. The emotional injury can be so severe that brain scans detect the abnormal changes. Fear of not being good enough can lead to:
- The inability to trust others;
- inability to form personal relationships due to fear of being disempowered and controlled;
- devastating intense shame of being defective - 'not being good enough';
- establishing an evaluation scale which is used to compare threats/rewards posed by others;
- compulsion to find external validation from others;
- experimentation to find emotional numbing substances - drugs, alcohol, mushrooms;
- experimentation to find emotional escapes through behaviours - gambling, social media, doom scrolling, gaming;
- experimentation to pseudo-meet emotional needs using fantasies - porn, masturbation, novels, affairs, OF subscriptions, swinger clubs, stripper clubs, gay bars/baths, mulit-person sexual activities, serial hook-ups;
- attempts to find a partner and have 'a relationship' - with the unconscious purpose of using that partner to supply the 'mothering' / nurturing ('tell me I'm worth something') that was not received as a child;
- projections of anger triggered by a mother/father wound onto current partners;
- repeated involvement in serial, toxic relationships;
- unconsciously forming sexual anchors (a sexual anchor is a combination of emotional and physical cues that the body and mind have learnt to respond to with sexual arousal, sometimes resulting in fetishes.
- A 10 year old boy was not valued by his parents. The child was groomed by a 'nice, friendly (nurturing)' baby-sitter, who combed her hair with a red comb just before she sexually molested him. The child didn't recognise that he was being abused because he felt the emotion and interpreted it as being 'loved.' Despite the child thinking (logical) that the sexual action was wrong, his body is 'rewarded' by an overwhelmingly 'good' feeling in his body (cognitive dissonance). The bonding chemicals released during his first sexual orgasm set up his brain for future experiences. Red combs, young women who look like the baby-sitter or who are nurturing like the baby-sitter become sexually arousing ;
- Similarly, if a young boy is sexually abused by an older man, the child might have his sexual arousal system anchored so strongly in that first encounter, or series of encounters, that the boy believes he is exclusively sexually aroused only by same sex stimulus. He thinks he is gay/homosexual, when in fact he has been sexually abused and confused. This is not to suggest that all same sex attracted people have been sexually abused. It is one possible scenario.
- Bi-sexual anchoring example - a 12 year old boy and his 13 year old brother were playing in a shed and discovered some porn magazines showing naked women's bodies. They started to copy the actions that they saw in the porn magazines and experimented with each other. The 12 year old boy ended up becoming anchored to both male and female, but preferred male sexual interactions. Is there a connection?
- Fetish situation - a mother and grandmother were living together. The mother became pregnant and both her and the grandmother wanted a girl baby to be born. They were disappointed when a baby boy was born. The mother and grandmother regularly dressed the child in girl's clothing and as the boy grew into a youth, he found his sexual arousal system was anchored on having to cross-dress. He was still cross-dressing in his 70s.
As stated at the beginning of this article, there absolutely might be cases where genetics contribute to being same sex attracted. There absolutely might be others who are extremely happy with their same sex sexual orientation, but there might be others who are practicising same sex attraction or heterosexual adultery/affairs that might be unaware of the anchoring that has influenced their sexual orientation.
Scientific research has been undertaken to study sexual anchoring on animals.
Rats:
One study involved rats. The male rats were introduced to sexually receptive females that wore special jackets. Female rats that were not sexually receptive at that time of their cycle, were not given jackets to wear. It was noted that very quickly, when given a choice the conditioned male rats preferred to mate only with female rats that wore the jacket, whether the jacketless females were receptive or not. (Behav Neurosci, 2019, April; 133(2):188-197. doi: 10.1037/bne0000300. Epub 2019 Feb 4. Conditioned partner preference in male and female rats for a somatosensory cue, Gonzalo R Quintana 1 , Steve Desbiens 1 , Sarah Marceau 1 , Narges Kalantari 1 , James Bowden 1 , James G Pfaus 1)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30714804/
Horses:
It is a well known practice at horse stud farms for the stallions to be trained to 'mount' a 44 gallon drum as if he is mating with a mare. The stallion is trained to ejaculate into a tube (artificial mare's vagina) so that his semen can be used to impregnate mares without any of the physical risks to the stallion or to the mares. Stallions are conditioned to become sexually aroused when they see the 44 gallon drum.
An intriguing question is raised - Can humans become sexually conditioned perhaps by viewing porn and other sexual activities? It might be interesting for people to further explore their own sexual arousal system and even to research their childhood to explore the events surrounding their earliest sexual experiences.
Possible Factors Contributing to Sexual Anchoring
- Child is deceived thinking he/she has no value, is unlovable, thinks they are defective, shamed
- unrecognised abuse, grooming – deceived to think and feel that the abuser ‘likes me
- Sexual achoring – environmental factors and bonding chemicals released at orgasm form a blue-print for the sexual arousal system in the brain;
- habitual and addictive behaviour based on false beliefs from the original anchoring
Sexual Selfishness = Taking
The Bible prohibits ALL selfish and unloving behaviours.
Adultery is one of those selfish and unloving behaviours.
All adultery begins in the mind.
The Creator's recipe for a successful and happy marriage relationship is clear. Sex is only safe when it occurs within a loving marriage which is defined as a mutually loving, emotionally intimate, committed, sexually-exclusive permanent relationship between a man and a woman who have become husband and wife. This is not to state that same sex attracted relationships are loveless. Indeed same sex attracted relationships might be even more supportive environments than are some heterosexual marriages, especially if respect in those marriages are effected by porn and other sexual selfishness or from violence, drugs and other abusive behaviours.
Love makes no allowance for anyone to commit any type of sexual sin regardless of whether they are heterosexual men or women or same sex attracted men and women. The Creator wants humanity to be loving to each other and not to be takers in any area of their lives. Jesus set the example of how to treat those who have been injured by the unloving actions of others. People who take from others to benefit themselves; people who lack empathy and intentionally rob a person of their dignity, sacredness, respect and privacy hurt others on purpose; people performing actions that hurt others such as pedophilia, sex-trafficking or pimping; These are the sexually selfish behaviours that Jesus warned about when He said, "Do to others what you would want done to yourself." Jesus protected the victim of such behaviour in John 8. He released the sexual abuse victim from her tormentors.
It is our belief that Jesus is NOT preaching against the kind of sexual behaviour that takes place in loving relationships. The Bible points out the ideal situation, which was set up in the Garden of Eden, in a perfect world, but Jesus is not condemning those who have not found that ideal situation. He knows which people are takers and He identifies those people who are trying to live according to the principles of Love. His promise is to take care of those who want to be guided by His spirit of Love.
Many countries have changed the traditionally accepted definitions of 'husband,' 'wife' and 'marriage' to include same sex relationships.
Adultery is one of those selfish and unloving behaviours.
All adultery begins in the mind.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exo 20:14; Deut 5:18; Matt 5:27; Luke 18:20);
- Jesus said 'That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart (Matt 5:27-28);
- But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding; he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul (Prov 6:32);
- Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body (1 Cor 6:18)
- Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind (1 Cor 6:9);
- Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Heb 13:4).
The Creator's recipe for a successful and happy marriage relationship is clear. Sex is only safe when it occurs within a loving marriage which is defined as a mutually loving, emotionally intimate, committed, sexually-exclusive permanent relationship between a man and a woman who have become husband and wife. This is not to state that same sex attracted relationships are loveless. Indeed same sex attracted relationships might be even more supportive environments than are some heterosexual marriages, especially if respect in those marriages are effected by porn and other sexual selfishness or from violence, drugs and other abusive behaviours.
Love makes no allowance for anyone to commit any type of sexual sin regardless of whether they are heterosexual men or women or same sex attracted men and women. The Creator wants humanity to be loving to each other and not to be takers in any area of their lives. Jesus set the example of how to treat those who have been injured by the unloving actions of others. People who take from others to benefit themselves; people who lack empathy and intentionally rob a person of their dignity, sacredness, respect and privacy hurt others on purpose; people performing actions that hurt others such as pedophilia, sex-trafficking or pimping; These are the sexually selfish behaviours that Jesus warned about when He said, "Do to others what you would want done to yourself." Jesus protected the victim of such behaviour in John 8. He released the sexual abuse victim from her tormentors.
It is our belief that Jesus is NOT preaching against the kind of sexual behaviour that takes place in loving relationships. The Bible points out the ideal situation, which was set up in the Garden of Eden, in a perfect world, but Jesus is not condemning those who have not found that ideal situation. He knows which people are takers and He identifies those people who are trying to live according to the principles of Love. His promise is to take care of those who want to be guided by His spirit of Love.
Many countries have changed the traditionally accepted definitions of 'husband,' 'wife' and 'marriage' to include same sex relationships.
John 8:1-11 - A Woman of Great Value - 1
Case Study 1
In John chapter 8, Jesus deals lovingly with the woman who had been 'taken in adultery.' Some Bible commentators believe that this woman was a 'patsy' - set up intentionally to 'test' Jesus. Her position might be equivalent of the modern day sex-trafficking victim or a plaything for powerful men. In any case, Jesus intervened to save the 'sexual sinner's' life. Jesus did not inflict any punishment or announce any condemnation. In fact, Jesus told her that He didn't condemn her and empowered her to 'go and sin no more.' We believe that perhaps the woman's greatest sin (absence of love) was hating herself. She believed she was covered in shame; that she was 'not good enough;' that she was defective.
Jesus picked her up out of the dirt and no doubt organised for her clothing or rug to cover her nakedness and restore her dignity. Jesus assured her of her value as His daughter. The healing of her broken heart happened with her believing Jesus' statement of truth, that she was 'worth it.' Jesus confirmed that she had great value in His eyes. By believing Jesus, she was free to make emotionally healthy choices that would prioritise her own needs. She would no longer hunger emotionally and have to seek external validation of her worth from fallible human beings. She wouldn't have to stay being a people-pleaser. She understood she was 'good enough' to be loved, respected and protected. It was a life changing moment for her - physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
In John chapter 8, Jesus deals lovingly with the woman who had been 'taken in adultery.' Some Bible commentators believe that this woman was a 'patsy' - set up intentionally to 'test' Jesus. Her position might be equivalent of the modern day sex-trafficking victim or a plaything for powerful men. In any case, Jesus intervened to save the 'sexual sinner's' life. Jesus did not inflict any punishment or announce any condemnation. In fact, Jesus told her that He didn't condemn her and empowered her to 'go and sin no more.' We believe that perhaps the woman's greatest sin (absence of love) was hating herself. She believed she was covered in shame; that she was 'not good enough;' that she was defective.
Jesus picked her up out of the dirt and no doubt organised for her clothing or rug to cover her nakedness and restore her dignity. Jesus assured her of her value as His daughter. The healing of her broken heart happened with her believing Jesus' statement of truth, that she was 'worth it.' Jesus confirmed that she had great value in His eyes. By believing Jesus, she was free to make emotionally healthy choices that would prioritise her own needs. She would no longer hunger emotionally and have to seek external validation of her worth from fallible human beings. She wouldn't have to stay being a people-pleaser. She understood she was 'good enough' to be loved, respected and protected. It was a life changing moment for her - physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
John 14:16-18 - A Woman of Great Value - 2
Case Study #2:
Jesus met a Samaritan woman at the well of Jacob. She was drawing water out of the well during the hottest time of the day which was not the custom in the Middle East. Jesus knew the woman was fetching water from the well at noon so she did not have to mix with and be insulted by the 'more righteous living' women of the town. From her conversation with Jesus it is clear that the woman feared being embarrassed, shamed and rejected. She considered herself a failure in the 'marriage department', but she was reluctant to reveal that shameful information. Eventually Jesus revealed that He was aware that she had been through the trauma of having 5 husbands and that she was not married to the man with whom she was currently living (John 4:16-18). Jesus did not condemn this woman, but took time to teach her that she had such great value - she was so important to Him that He entrusted her to take the gospel to the people who had previously rejected her, in her own town. He asked the woman to go right to the place where she had previously been rejected and to repair relationship wounds with the residents by being the only source of the good news about the Messiah. Jesus confirmed her great value and did not criticise her 'immoral' behaviour. This woman was not trying to hurt others sexually. She was trying to find love and to have her emotional needs met, but she had no idea how 'do' relationships. Jesus did not berate her for her relationship 'failures' but He inspired her by assuring her of her value. She was given the task of going into the town and telling her contacts that she had just met a Man - the Messiah - and that the Messiah had just told her everything she ever did. That meant that the Messiah accepted her as His valued messenger, despite her marriage failure history.
Jesus met a Samaritan woman at the well of Jacob. She was drawing water out of the well during the hottest time of the day which was not the custom in the Middle East. Jesus knew the woman was fetching water from the well at noon so she did not have to mix with and be insulted by the 'more righteous living' women of the town. From her conversation with Jesus it is clear that the woman feared being embarrassed, shamed and rejected. She considered herself a failure in the 'marriage department', but she was reluctant to reveal that shameful information. Eventually Jesus revealed that He was aware that she had been through the trauma of having 5 husbands and that she was not married to the man with whom she was currently living (John 4:16-18). Jesus did not condemn this woman, but took time to teach her that she had such great value - she was so important to Him that He entrusted her to take the gospel to the people who had previously rejected her, in her own town. He asked the woman to go right to the place where she had previously been rejected and to repair relationship wounds with the residents by being the only source of the good news about the Messiah. Jesus confirmed her great value and did not criticise her 'immoral' behaviour. This woman was not trying to hurt others sexually. She was trying to find love and to have her emotional needs met, but she had no idea how 'do' relationships. Jesus did not berate her for her relationship 'failures' but He inspired her by assuring her of her value. She was given the task of going into the town and telling her contacts that she had just met a Man - the Messiah - and that the Messiah had just told her everything she ever did. That meant that the Messiah accepted her as His valued messenger, despite her marriage failure history.
Set Free
From studying the response of Jesus to the sexually and emotionally abused women, we can learn how Christians should relate to and support others who have been injured by the selfishness of others and by their own unwise choices in the past.
Jesus did not agree with the women's sexual abusers. He did not verbalise the 'moral faults' and unwise choices of the abused, shamed women. He refused to criticise either of them, despite, in regard to the woman 'taken in adultery,' the religious lawyers presented their legal evidence that the woman was 'guilty of committing adultery.' In their minds, this 'sinful' woman possessed the same negative value as the 'crime' she committed. In fact, Jesus recognised that the crime was committed against her and she was not guilty of any condemnation. Both of these women were emotionally injured. They had made unsafe choices in the past, but as a result, Jesus was immediately to them, protector, Saviour and defender.
When confronted with people who might be condemned by others for their lifestyle choices, Christians would do well to imitate the loving example of Jesus.
They should:
Jesus did not agree with the women's sexual abusers. He did not verbalise the 'moral faults' and unwise choices of the abused, shamed women. He refused to criticise either of them, despite, in regard to the woman 'taken in adultery,' the religious lawyers presented their legal evidence that the woman was 'guilty of committing adultery.' In their minds, this 'sinful' woman possessed the same negative value as the 'crime' she committed. In fact, Jesus recognised that the crime was committed against her and she was not guilty of any condemnation. Both of these women were emotionally injured. They had made unsafe choices in the past, but as a result, Jesus was immediately to them, protector, Saviour and defender.
When confronted with people who might be condemned by others for their lifestyle choices, Christians would do well to imitate the loving example of Jesus.
They should:
- endeavour to cover the injured person with love and acceptance;
- validate the person's worth;
- restore the person's dignity (attack the shame, defective belief);
- check for the 'log of lust' in their own eye before seeking pull out the dust that they see their brother's eye (Matt 7:3,4);
- not judge nor condemn others (Matt 7:1,2);
- focus on the person, not on the behaviour;
- learn how to help others understand God's love;
- learn how to help others examine their childhood experiences;
- listen without criticism to their brother/sister rather than lecture (if requested);
- offer to share their own experiences if requested;
- point out avenues of further assistance if the person requests information;
- pray for hurting people to be healed in their emotionally wounded hearts.
Healing from involvement in sexual sin requires the person to be motivated and emotionally equipped to look for the original cause.
With loving support, the person might want to:
There are several reasons (apart from genetics) that a person might be involved in same sex attraction or in heterosexual adultery. Most are emotional reasons:
With loving support, the person might want to:
- consider why a specific sexual behaviour is important to them;,
- identify the emotional needs that might be driving the sexual behaviour;
- examine the origins of any sexual anchors;
- ask God to give them insight into the situation.
There are several reasons (apart from genetics) that a person might be involved in same sex attraction or in heterosexual adultery. Most are emotional reasons:
- habit;
- addiction/compulsion;
- escape/numbing emotional pain;
- sexual anchoring;
- income earning;
- grasp for status/being cool/friends/in-crowd;
- people pleasing;
- external validation;
- belief system.
Jesus was not 'soft' on sexual abusers - sexual sinners. He identified perpetrators and hard-hearted men. Often these men held prestigious offices on the Sanhedrin and among the Pharisees. In Matt 24, Jesus calls out the hypocrisy of these manipulative men with very direct language, comparing them to venomous snakes, graves full of dead men's bones and dirty, unwashed cups. Jesus was exposing the dirty core of selfishness which, while not visible from the outside, infected the core of their minds.
Jesus also exposed the sexually abusive divorce laws that allowed serial adultery by the Jewish men (Matthew 5:31, 32). The law was manipulated (by Rabi Hillel) so that men could, under the 'any cause' divorce legislation, divorce their wife in the morning, marry another woman at lunchtime and then divorce that 'wife' and remarry their original wife on the same evening.
Abominations - Sexually Selfish Behaviour
Pimps, sex-trafficking, rape (straight or gay), pedophilia, grooming, violating a woman's dignity and sexual privacy, manipulating a woman/man into sexual activity, paying for sex, selling sex, sexual fantasies, hook-ups, gay bars/baths, swingers clubs, husband/wife-swapping, and sexual abuse are examples of unloving sexual sins that take something away from one person for the gratification of the other.
Many passages in the Bible assure Christians that those who 'received not the love of the truth... but has pleasure in unrighteousness' will not be in heaven (2 Thess 2:10, 12). Such selfish behaviours are intolerable on earth, let alone polluting heaven with the selfishness - the taking - from which the behavour originates.
Consider this lengthy passage in Romans 1:18-31 where Paul outlines the condition of those who will not be in heaven. Notice what it is about their characters that bar them from being with Jesus and His people.
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."
All same sex attraction does not fall into the same wicked, rebellious, selfish, demon-possessed, unloving category that Paul described.
It does not all fall into the category of 'having pleasure in unrighteousness.'
Jesus made an important distinction between people who looking for love but who were lacked the relationship skills to do so, and those willfully set out to take advantage of people, to manipulate people for their own gain, to denegrate others, to use others for their own gain without regard for the damage they were doing to others. The second type of people would tend to describe the lustful, demon-controlled men in Sodom who were in the habit of raping strangers.
Emotionally scared and disillusioned people, who are seeking love are easily contrasted to the loveless people who will not be in heaven. Those people who have the spirit of Love are contrasted against those who have the spirit of selfishness. Loving people can be same sex attracted. Selfish people can be heterosexual. Narcissistic, abusive people can be same sex attracted and they can also be heterosexual. Sexual preferences or orientation does not equate with being loving or unloving. It is the spirit that motivates that person's actions that is important.
Same sex attraction does not fall into the unloving category. It does not fall into the category of 'having pleasure in unrighteousness.' There is a distinction between people that was made important by Jesus. Those people who have the spirit of Love are contrasted against those who have the spirit of selfishness. Loving people can be same sex attracted. Selfish people can be heterosexual. Narcissistic, abusive people can be same sex attracted and they can also be heterosexual. Sexual preferences or orientation does not equate with being loving or unloving. It is the spirit that motivates that person's actions that is important.
Any behaviour that is committed in the absence of Love is harmful.
If people are same sex attracted or heterosexual, that is their personal business.
It only becomes a community issue, if that person is motivated by an unloving, abusive, self-serving spirit and they cause harm to others by their unloving behaviour.
While the sexual interaction between same sex couples is not able to reflect the ideal plan God has designed for human beings, it is the act of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation - sexual selfishness devoid of empathy - that destroys the victims - that is the real abomination. God is against people being used, abused and hurt through the selfishness of others.
Jesus didn't preach at emotionally injured people and tell them what they should be doing sexually. He opened the eyes of the blinded person and restored their value and their dignity. If the person then chose to do so, they had the power to change their life from one where sexual abuse or sexual activities dominated their lives, to a different kind of interaction. Christians are required to give people love and support but to leave the decisions regarding the next steps in their life, with the person. Contrary to what some Christian organisations believe, it is our belief that Jesus did not authorise Christians to control another person's conscience.
Selfish sexual thinking is lust. Lust takes from others without concern for the other person's welfare.
A man who watches porn is taking what he wants from the females displayed on the screen. Porn trains him to feel entitled to use the women as he desires. He has no concern or empathy for their welfare at all. Are they trafficked? Drugged? Bashed by pimps? Using numbing gels to allow their body to tolerate the abuse? Suicidal? Trapped economically? Fearful? Unloved, without value? Carrying a burden of shame? Feeling defective? There is no consent in porn. Can a person who has been repeatedly sexually exploited, drug addicted and physically abused give informed consent? Does a young woman with a history of being abused since she was small child, have the ability to recognise that she is being sexually abused in porn, or is it the only treatment she's ever known? If a sexually abused porn actor consents to be abused, publicly displayed nude and humiliated; if he/she, agrees to be portrayed without dignity, might it be that he/she doesn't know their true value? If a man recognises that all porn is violent to the privacy and dignity of a woman, would he still consent to be just another one of her faceless abusers? She is totally exposed, but he is the voyeur, protected from the gaze of others, a peeping Tom. Where is the empathy of the Christian man when he is watching the degradation of women in porn? It can only be assumed that the man has bought the porn argument that maintains that 'all men do porn' and 'its only natural' for a 'red-blooded man to want to look at a pretty woman.' As Dr Gail Dines states, in regard to sexual displays in porn, 'the violence is invisible. Only the sex is seen.' This sad situation is the same whether the sexual abuse is being committed by heterosexual men/women or by same sex attracted individuals.'
Jesus also exposed the sexually abusive divorce laws that allowed serial adultery by the Jewish men (Matthew 5:31, 32). The law was manipulated (by Rabi Hillel) so that men could, under the 'any cause' divorce legislation, divorce their wife in the morning, marry another woman at lunchtime and then divorce that 'wife' and remarry their original wife on the same evening.
Abominations - Sexually Selfish Behaviour
Pimps, sex-trafficking, rape (straight or gay), pedophilia, grooming, violating a woman's dignity and sexual privacy, manipulating a woman/man into sexual activity, paying for sex, selling sex, sexual fantasies, hook-ups, gay bars/baths, swingers clubs, husband/wife-swapping, and sexual abuse are examples of unloving sexual sins that take something away from one person for the gratification of the other.
Many passages in the Bible assure Christians that those who 'received not the love of the truth... but has pleasure in unrighteousness' will not be in heaven (2 Thess 2:10, 12). Such selfish behaviours are intolerable on earth, let alone polluting heaven with the selfishness - the taking - from which the behavour originates.
Consider this lengthy passage in Romans 1:18-31 where Paul outlines the condition of those who will not be in heaven. Notice what it is about their characters that bar them from being with Jesus and His people.
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."
All same sex attraction does not fall into the same wicked, rebellious, selfish, demon-possessed, unloving category that Paul described.
It does not all fall into the category of 'having pleasure in unrighteousness.'
Jesus made an important distinction between people who looking for love but who were lacked the relationship skills to do so, and those willfully set out to take advantage of people, to manipulate people for their own gain, to denegrate others, to use others for their own gain without regard for the damage they were doing to others. The second type of people would tend to describe the lustful, demon-controlled men in Sodom who were in the habit of raping strangers.
Emotionally scared and disillusioned people, who are seeking love are easily contrasted to the loveless people who will not be in heaven. Those people who have the spirit of Love are contrasted against those who have the spirit of selfishness. Loving people can be same sex attracted. Selfish people can be heterosexual. Narcissistic, abusive people can be same sex attracted and they can also be heterosexual. Sexual preferences or orientation does not equate with being loving or unloving. It is the spirit that motivates that person's actions that is important.
Same sex attraction does not fall into the unloving category. It does not fall into the category of 'having pleasure in unrighteousness.' There is a distinction between people that was made important by Jesus. Those people who have the spirit of Love are contrasted against those who have the spirit of selfishness. Loving people can be same sex attracted. Selfish people can be heterosexual. Narcissistic, abusive people can be same sex attracted and they can also be heterosexual. Sexual preferences or orientation does not equate with being loving or unloving. It is the spirit that motivates that person's actions that is important.
Any behaviour that is committed in the absence of Love is harmful.
If people are same sex attracted or heterosexual, that is their personal business.
It only becomes a community issue, if that person is motivated by an unloving, abusive, self-serving spirit and they cause harm to others by their unloving behaviour.
While the sexual interaction between same sex couples is not able to reflect the ideal plan God has designed for human beings, it is the act of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation - sexual selfishness devoid of empathy - that destroys the victims - that is the real abomination. God is against people being used, abused and hurt through the selfishness of others.
Jesus didn't preach at emotionally injured people and tell them what they should be doing sexually. He opened the eyes of the blinded person and restored their value and their dignity. If the person then chose to do so, they had the power to change their life from one where sexual abuse or sexual activities dominated their lives, to a different kind of interaction. Christians are required to give people love and support but to leave the decisions regarding the next steps in their life, with the person. Contrary to what some Christian organisations believe, it is our belief that Jesus did not authorise Christians to control another person's conscience.
Selfish sexual thinking is lust. Lust takes from others without concern for the other person's welfare.
A man who watches porn is taking what he wants from the females displayed on the screen. Porn trains him to feel entitled to use the women as he desires. He has no concern or empathy for their welfare at all. Are they trafficked? Drugged? Bashed by pimps? Using numbing gels to allow their body to tolerate the abuse? Suicidal? Trapped economically? Fearful? Unloved, without value? Carrying a burden of shame? Feeling defective? There is no consent in porn. Can a person who has been repeatedly sexually exploited, drug addicted and physically abused give informed consent? Does a young woman with a history of being abused since she was small child, have the ability to recognise that she is being sexually abused in porn, or is it the only treatment she's ever known? If a sexually abused porn actor consents to be abused, publicly displayed nude and humiliated; if he/she, agrees to be portrayed without dignity, might it be that he/she doesn't know their true value? If a man recognises that all porn is violent to the privacy and dignity of a woman, would he still consent to be just another one of her faceless abusers? She is totally exposed, but he is the voyeur, protected from the gaze of others, a peeping Tom. Where is the empathy of the Christian man when he is watching the degradation of women in porn? It can only be assumed that the man has bought the porn argument that maintains that 'all men do porn' and 'its only natural' for a 'red-blooded man to want to look at a pretty woman.' As Dr Gail Dines states, in regard to sexual displays in porn, 'the violence is invisible. Only the sex is seen.' This sad situation is the same whether the sexual abuse is being committed by heterosexual men/women or by same sex attracted individuals.'
Porn - Emotionally Disconnected Sexual Activity
Porn is all about being entitled to take sexually.
Dr Jordan Petersen said that if a person is not narcissistic, psychopathic or Machiavellian when they start watching porn, they will start developing those traits after they watch porn. By beholding watching, people's thinking changes. https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Vti5smSVW/
The selfish act of taking is the foundation of lust because lust always takes from others to the detriment of the other person. It never gives back, never shows concern for the other person's welfare. Lust is the absence of Love.
Porn trains its viewers to think people can use each other sexually without it being detrimental to either participant.
Bob Seger demonstrated this belief that taking from 'each other' during emotionally disconnected, recreational sexual activity, is harmless. He wrote the song "Night Moves."
Some of the lyrics from "Night Moves" are:
"We weren't in love, oh no far from it
We weren't searching for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored,
Living by the sword.
And we'd steal away, every chance we could
Back rooms, alleys and trusty woods
I used her, she used me, but neither one cared,
We were getting our share.'
Porn convinces boys, that girls are only toys.
"Chasing girls" is like a sport to boys. Like they score in a football match, boys called it scoring when they 'got to first base' with a girl on a date. Many girls experienced 'dating' as if they were a prey animal trying to avoid being devoured by a predator, as they were pressured to provide emotionally disconnected sexual activity for the boys.
Porn is always sexual abuse. Two people taking from each other, doesn't create two givers.
Porn is always a take - a rape - that activates in the mind of the viewer-abuser. Jesus exposed this truth in Matt 5:27.
James 1:14,15
'Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then after the desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin and sin when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.'
James 4:7
'Resist the devil and he will flee from you.'
Dr Jordan Petersen said that if a person is not narcissistic, psychopathic or Machiavellian when they start watching porn, they will start developing those traits after they watch porn. By beholding watching, people's thinking changes. https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Vti5smSVW/
The selfish act of taking is the foundation of lust because lust always takes from others to the detriment of the other person. It never gives back, never shows concern for the other person's welfare. Lust is the absence of Love.
Porn trains its viewers to think people can use each other sexually without it being detrimental to either participant.
Bob Seger demonstrated this belief that taking from 'each other' during emotionally disconnected, recreational sexual activity, is harmless. He wrote the song "Night Moves."
Some of the lyrics from "Night Moves" are:
"We weren't in love, oh no far from it
We weren't searching for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored,
Living by the sword.
And we'd steal away, every chance we could
Back rooms, alleys and trusty woods
I used her, she used me, but neither one cared,
We were getting our share.'
Porn convinces boys, that girls are only toys.
"Chasing girls" is like a sport to boys. Like they score in a football match, boys called it scoring when they 'got to first base' with a girl on a date. Many girls experienced 'dating' as if they were a prey animal trying to avoid being devoured by a predator, as they were pressured to provide emotionally disconnected sexual activity for the boys.
Porn is always sexual abuse. Two people taking from each other, doesn't create two givers.
Porn is always a take - a rape - that activates in the mind of the viewer-abuser. Jesus exposed this truth in Matt 5:27.
James 1:14,15
'Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then after the desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin and sin when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.'
James 4:7
'Resist the devil and he will flee from you.'
Not smart to think that sex without commitment is harmless.
Cherished or Resisted?
It's not the thought or image that is put into the mind that destroys the mind. It is how that thought or image is processed in the mind. Is it received with joy and cherished or is it rejected with disgust?
The cherished selfish thought is lust.
James reveals how to win the battle over lust. He says to resist the lustful thought. Shine the light of Love with its empathy onto the darkness of porn and other forms of sexual abuse. That is reality. That is the truth that banishes the lustful thought. 'Do unto others as you would want others to do to you' (Matt 7:12). Would you like to be naked and sexually exposed to the view of the whole world? Jesus was stripped naked and hung on a cross for all the world to see him without any dignity. Jesus said, 'In as much as you have done it to one of these the least of my brethren, you have done it to me (Matt 25:40). ' Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself' (Mark 12:31).
Just as the effects of lust on heterosexual relationships can cause devastation, so too can lust infect same sex relationships. Lust focuses on taking from the partner, not on giving to meet their partner's needs. It doesn't matter whether lust occurs in heterosexual or same sex partnerships. Lust is the issue.
Heterosexual lust is selfish heterosexual sin. When acted out it is called committing adultery and fornication. However same sex attractions are not God's ideal purpose either, not because the partners are unloving, but because the partnership cannot complete the creative, reproductive image of God which is the joining of male and female to produce a child from both the parents.
The Creator's original plan was to use marriage to bond two people in a relationship where they both benefited from the other partner's differences. Eve, the first woman was created to be a 'helper' to Adam, to provide him with support that he could not provide to himself (Gen 1:27). The children who resulted from the husband/wife sexual union would have the best chance of being valued by both parents since they were biologically part of both of them. Ideally marriage partners stay together in a life-long union. This was the ideal and original design, but it seems to be rarely achievable in the current pornified, sexually abusive society that we live in today.
Because of childhood injuries, many emotionally wounded people, both same sex attracted and heterosexual, do not know how to choose a suitable partner or how to make a relationship work. That is not a sin/selfishness. It is a crippling injury.
According to the Bible, in God's original plan for marriage, the two partners depend on each other for things they were not able to do themselves and they would reproduce children who benefited from the input of both male and female traits. There are certain traits that have generally been usually specific leaning toward either of the two genders. A child growing up in heterosexual, stable and loving family is beneficially exposed to the contrast between the male and the female's personalities. In modern times, many people appear to be of the opinion that there are no genetic differences between males and females, but that certain trait differences are only attributable to the cultural environment. We are not able to agree with that assertion, but we can agree that current male/female roles have intentionally been changed from what they were traditionally. Nevertheless, we believe that, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents, a child in a loving home is far better placed than a child growing up in an abusive home.
We certainly do not condemn loving same sex families. Love and emotional safety are wonderful attributes in whichever family they are cultivated. There are same sex couples who are raising children and meeting their needs to be loved and valued, just as there are others who don't provide safe places. The same is true for heterosexual families. God's plan definitely includes that parents demonstrate to their children, that they are loved and valued. These are non- negotiable needs that every parent needs to bestow on their children regardless of their family composition and sexual orientation.
According to the Bible, in God's original plan for marriage, the two partners depend on each other for things they were not able to do themselves and they would reproduce children who benefited from the input of both male and female traits. There are certain traits that have generally been usually specific leaning toward either of the two genders. A child growing up in heterosexual, stable and loving family is beneficially exposed to the contrast between the male and the female's personalities. In modern times, many people appear to be of the opinion that there are no genetic differences between males and females, but that certain trait differences are only attributable to the cultural environment. We are not able to agree with that assertion, but we can agree that current male/female roles have intentionally been changed from what they were traditionally. Nevertheless, we believe that, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents, a child in a loving home is far better placed than a child growing up in an abusive home.
We certainly do not condemn loving same sex families. Love and emotional safety are wonderful attributes in whichever family they are cultivated. There are same sex couples who are raising children and meeting their needs to be loved and valued, just as there are others who don't provide safe places. The same is true for heterosexual families. God's plan definitely includes that parents demonstrate to their children, that they are loved and valued. These are non- negotiable needs that every parent needs to bestow on their children regardless of their family composition and sexual orientation.
Summary
We recognise that two people of the same sex can love each other. We are making the point that such an arrangement is not portrayed in the Bible as God's original plan for humanity and according to the Bible, human beings would be happier if they found suitable, supportive partners of the opposite sex with whom they could marry and raise children. However, we consider the most important aspect of a family is that children be raised with loving parents, in stable families, knowing they are loved, treasured and valued, regardless of the family's sexual orientation.
We believe that the Creator does not condone sexually abusive, selfish, loveless behaviours. He has outlined the perfect ideal for marriage, but He understands why many humans have become disillusioned with that pattern. Jesus told the Jewish leaders (Matt 5:31, 32) that divorce was given because of the hardness of their hearts. Jesus exposed the corrupt system that was devised to leave wives unsupported by disloyal, sexually abusive husbands. The Creator is not a threat to love, but to harmful systems which intentionally promote sexually abusive behaviours. Jesus set the example that these systems (like porn, sex trafficking etc) be identified and exposed so that people can make informed choices about whether to participate, support or to bring change to these systems. The Creator is not in favour of breaking up loving families who are trying to do the best they can, but we believe He wants to lead people who are willing, to go back to His ideal for humanity.
God is tender-hearted to all people who have been hurt by sexually abusive systems, by dysfunctional family systems and by people who have promoted and inflicted abuse on others. God wants humanity to recover from sexual abuse and to restore the gift of sexual connection back to its proper dignified and sacred place in His people's lives. God wants all the precious children to grow up knowing that are incredibly valuable and intensely loved.
We believe that the Creator does not condone sexually abusive, selfish, loveless behaviours. He has outlined the perfect ideal for marriage, but He understands why many humans have become disillusioned with that pattern. Jesus told the Jewish leaders (Matt 5:31, 32) that divorce was given because of the hardness of their hearts. Jesus exposed the corrupt system that was devised to leave wives unsupported by disloyal, sexually abusive husbands. The Creator is not a threat to love, but to harmful systems which intentionally promote sexually abusive behaviours. Jesus set the example that these systems (like porn, sex trafficking etc) be identified and exposed so that people can make informed choices about whether to participate, support or to bring change to these systems. The Creator is not in favour of breaking up loving families who are trying to do the best they can, but we believe He wants to lead people who are willing, to go back to His ideal for humanity.
God is tender-hearted to all people who have been hurt by sexually abusive systems, by dysfunctional family systems and by people who have promoted and inflicted abuse on others. God wants humanity to recover from sexual abuse and to restore the gift of sexual connection back to its proper dignified and sacred place in His people's lives. God wants all the precious children to grow up knowing that are incredibly valuable and intensely loved.
